The Journey Begins

I was recently and unexpectedly widowed at the very young age of 66. It was predominantly a very happy marriage for 45 years and I am now attempting to “recalibrate.” My husband would not have wanted me to be unhappy, any longer than necessary, so I have taken the following steps:

1) Found a insightful new therapist, Jane.

2) Found an adorable and young personal trainer (I expect minimal pain here)

3) Found a Book Club. While the ladies were all very welcoming, did the first book really have to be about a poor innocent guy who spent 30 years on death row?? Oy.

Next step, it seems, is to put a toe into the dating world. Had lots of male attention, in my youth, as at only 5 feet tall I was instantly marked as “cute”. But my dating skills are very rusty; met husband at 19 and was married at 21. My last first date was in 1971. My daughter Mollie, who spent ten years or so dating, but fortunately is now happily married, has offered to be my mentor, my spirit guide through this maze. She even offered to drive me to dates and sit close by, in case I required a quick exit.

She has generously offered to co-write a blog with me about my/her dating expertise as a guidepost/warning to others. I am envisioning a Julia/Julia type blog that will absolutely lead to a book deal, then a movie! Already considering:  Is Sally Field too old to play me? Or not Jewish-looking enough??

Before the first date, do I need to rush over to my hairdresser and have the gray rinsed out?? My husband always insisted that he loved my natural hair, but honestly, was the decrease in salon bills what he most appreciated? And, should I head over to my dentist and have my teeth whitened? My dentist had warned me that with my recessed gums, it could be painful, but for the sake of love (or maybe just getting laid) it might be worth it.

Daughter will be coming over tomorrow to edit my 3 dating profiles on Match, Bumble and OKCupid. Hey, at my age I may need to spread a wide net.  Her first suggestion was that I change where I wrote “very intelligent” to “intellectually curious”. Didn’t want to sound too full of myself.

I expect that this will prove to be an interesting journey and I hope that many of you will come along for the ride!


14 thoughts on “The Journey Begins

  1. Liz Merker

    Susan, I am so proud of your new journey..You, know my story. I divorced Donald after 33 yrs of marriage, not the same circumstances. I have stories and more stories “of being out there” after a long marriage..Some very funny, some horrible..What I did learn was to be my own person, never let go my sense of humor…and never let anyone talk me into anything I was not comfortable with.
    Yes, and I found love. I have been in a 10 yr. relationship with a brilliant, wonderful man..And yes, I had to kiss many frogs, but I knew I would find the one.


  2. Cousin Debbie

    It’s great to see you using your writing talents in this new venture.

    What’s to stop you from getting the works at the salon, dentist, and boutique? Even if candidates for “Mr. Right Again” don’t appear immediately, you’ll feel and look terrific while you peruse.

    And what, no J-Date?


  3. randy letzler

    Wow, a friend of mine Susan Hanflik sent me your blog as I am newly widowed (1 month) also 66 ,married for 45 years, Jewish n live in CT. My husband also died unexpectedly so I guess we are kind of kindred spirits. Personally I still can’t believe this is happening. I am just waiting to wake up from this nightmare. Hoping to find my “new normal” and will be following your journey.
    Live, Laugh, Love


  4. Susan Williamson

    Wishing you well on your journey. Hope your experiences are fun, exciting, and filled with the joys of self discovery and connection. Looking forward to your next posting.


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