Online Dating: The Search Continues

away 2

*****Dear Readers, I will soon be away  on vacation; I have decided that it is way overdue for me to unplug!  

Very hard for me of course, but NO MSNBC and NO online dating: my two greatest and most entertaining passions/addictions. But this will be my birthday gift to myself: peace and solitude .

No men! Yikes, how will I bear it? Think kindly of me, sitting solo on a beach somewhere, under an umbrella, chugging down pina coladas.

And upon my return, I expect to have fabulous new photos to upload to all my dating sites. But one and all can be very grateful that none of them will show me in a bikini, as one kind  gentleman online had requested. 😉

But I am hopeful that new pictures will generate more “buzz”, as Bumble calls it, and provide me with reams of new material!*****

“Naughty dating” liked my blog! Wow! Perhaps naughty dating is what I have been missing out on?  Suggestions on where or with whom will be very kindly received.

A very productive morning on JDate:  I got three “Flirts.” The first was from Steven in Salt Lake City, but that could never work since he admits to smoking occasionally. The second from Jeff in Oklahoma, I guess not too many Jews live there. Finally, heard from Lopez in California. The good news is that he’s willing to convert. My mom will be thrilled that any more children that I might have will also be Jewish. Medical science will  be thrilled at the potential miracle!

And on Our Time, Howard from Long Island sent me a “Smile.” His profile portrays a very complex individual. When asked:

How do you like to spend your leisure time? FISHING

What’s an ideal day for you? FISHING

Things you could not live without? FISHING POLE

Activities that you most enjoy? FISHING

What are you really passionate about? Wait for it….FISHING

Whoever chooses Howard, I hope for her sake that she is either passionate about eating fish or that Howard is a lousy fisherman.

Rob from Albany just sent me a message: “You are a cutie.”

I would think that being 66, I am way too old to be considered a “cutie.” I might be able to handle cute, but cutie not so much, at least not for the past four decades. But thanks Rob.

Joe from OKCupid “likes” me. Why is the picture of him laying on a pillow? What should one infer? His profile said he was interested in hookups and non-monogamous. And his self summary only says “Looking for Fun.” At least he’s honest about what he wants. No pretenses. Should I be flattered or offended?? And he is looking for women from 40 to 70. Should I feel flattered or…

“GDzlps” listed me as a “Favorite” on JPeople. I joined because the “pickings” on JDate seemed to be slim. I attempted to cancel, but unfortunately,  and ever an optimist, I had signed up for 3 months! But my potential BF GDzlps sadly lives in Philly 😥

Three polyamorous men liked me since yesterday. By mistake I had turned off the monogamy filter for five minutes! What about my picture/profile draws that kind of man?? Or is it so hard to find women to agree to that??

I received a message from a dude from Miami on JDate or JPeople. Only because  he was pretty cute, I wrote him back to inquire, “why me? There is no lack of Jewish women in the Miami area. Miami is a bit too far, don’t you think?”

His response: “Yes but distance dose care about true love and happiness. You spark up my eyes and will like to know what you are also made of, my dear…”

I wrote him back, “Eye drops might help” Even if he lived 5 minutes away, with his poor grammar and spelling: heck no! MULTIPLE red flags there!!

Just got a like on Match from a 45 year old from Schenectady (about 2 hours north). He’s finished HS and enjoys hanging out with his “freinds.” Yeah that’s how he spelled it. Maybe he should not have received his HS diploma after all. Why would he presume to think someone as classy as me might be interested? Ok I am totally shallow and if only he was better looking…

Today got a “smile” from Albert,  a 5’4 retired Christian butcher covered in tattoos holding an accordion. Could it get worse? Oh yeah he also only had a HS education. That is the biggest turn off. I am an education snob, I do admit that. And in spite of what my much beloved cousin Richard said about CT being a liberal state, I suspect that Albert might be a Republican! Oy vey.

It actually can get worse. I  got a smile or wink from a dude in Rockland.  He seemed like a possible contender for my heart, very appealing and appropriate age, size, location, etc. But when I messaged him, he asked me for my email address in order to “send me his photograph.”  I wrote him back “Isn’t the picture on the website real?” He said, “it was real, just not of him!” So, while his true self is not hideously ugly and he described himself as a very progressive Jew, I am feeling like a game of Bait and Switch has been played on me. Is this someone I should even consider meeting?  I choose not to meet a guy, even if he is drop-dead handsome, if he is NOT ethical! A lady, yeah even me, has to have some standards!

Today’s email brought  a message from a man two towns away that sounded promising.  Only, he was a vegan, kosher Rabbi and stand up comic from Slovakia or Slovenia (can’t keep them straight).   I replied that making me laugh might be a foundation for a great relationship and I might be able to eat kosher food, but, it’s just not conceivable for me to give up my noodle kugel and matzah ball soup!


2 thoughts on “Online Dating: The Search Continues

  1. Hi Suzan

    Do not be offended, I love you and I love your blog! I read everything with a red pen in hand. Occupational hazard. NO one wants to read a newspaper after I do.

    On “45-year-old from Schenectady,” you’re talking about his lack of education, and…

    Maybe he should not have received his HS diploma after all. Why would he presume to think someone as classy as me might be interested?

    Seems to me, myself and I that “me” should be “I.”

    (Am I allowed to make a joke on your blog?)

    Liked by 1 person

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