Coffee Meets Bagel
Henry: “How’s your day going gorgeous. I hope it’s as beautiful as you are. Great profile and your cute smile melts my heart.”
I replied: “That sounds painful”
He goes on to say that I am “a nice woman” (I am many things, but definitely not that nice, ask my kids.) and he “will like to know more about me.”
I inquired as to his country of origin. Finland.
Why are all the good looking guys frauds??
Then I was texted by 2 other very fine-looking dudes, full of compliments and both urging me to go on Hangout or WhatsApp. When questioned, they admitted to being from New Zealand and Milan.
Then there was the Massage Therapist/Psychologist who was HOT to meet me ASAP! He identified as a fellow “hedonist” and I thought, wow he could massage my shoulders while “shrinking” my brain! A two-for-one deal!
He said he loved my profile and pictures and quickly asked for a good day to meet. Oy, I made the unusual, unforgivable error of giving him my last name before we even had a chance to chat online or by phone. I am scrupulously honest about myself and always share the fact that I blog about dating and promise NEVER to write about the men that I actually meet. Who knew that when one Googles me my blog is the first hit? At least please also check me out on LinkedIn too; I had a very successful career not that long ago.
My blog is totally about MY journey through the world of online dating: pure insanity at my age! And I for one do see the absurdity and muse about it online frequently. I didn’t even write about the very sexy dude from NJ, who promised to visit again soon and teach me more yoga! Although thanks J, I am still practicing those poses. Or the good looking photographer whom I am still hoping will call me back. And I NEVER make fun of guys I meet or betray their confidences or reveal their names. I am not looking to cause anyone any pain, dating can be painful enough.
So readers does Mr MT/P suffer from insecurity or lack a sense of humor?
He wrote me: “I’m not at all sure that I want to serve as another subject for online dating posts as clever as they may be.”
Wow! I knew I was funny, but clever too! Gee thanks, I think.
“I choose to exercise careful discretion.”
Good luck to you. Fortunately I already have a fantastic massage therapist. And I am lucky in having found Jane for my mental health issues.
And dating today requires strong mental health, not always easy for a widow. But I try extra hard and blogging definitely helps me maintain perspective. And as my daughter tells me I am an “over- sharer” anyway, even to that lovely Uber driver whom I was telling about my dating life as she drove me to the diner to meet a guy! It’s my nature I guess. but I never “kiss and tell” except to Mollie (daughter) of course and to Jane (therapist) and finally to Jill (best friend).
Recently, I had a lunch/hike (OK, a walk) date set with a very appealing guy, at least on paper. Continuing to casually text, I did point out that I was far from ready to be in a committed relationship. The gentleman in question pointed out the movie “When Harry Met Sally “ as proof I guess that relationships can happen when you least expect it. I sagely replied that Harry had to wait decades for Sally and was he prepared to wait for me? He got angry and immediately canceled the date.
Two days later he anxiously and repeatedly begged my pardon. Ever gracious, I accepted. He then chose to quote song lyrics from West Side Story. “There’s a Place For Us”. Ever the wise ass, I just can’t help myself, I helpfully pointed out that Tony died at the show’s end. So no Place, not really.
Then I asked “Are you willing to settle for what I am capable of offering you NOW”? He said absolutely YES! Then I said “Do you understand that I am not ready to date just one person NOW? “ He totally lost his s#%t. So no date. He continues to stalk my photos on the dating website. Zoosk does tell you everyone who has viewed you and when FYI. God I felt his pain after I posted that picture of me in a bathing suit!
I was recently informed that “Mr Sarcasm” in NYC was my best and last hope. He mourned over folks’ lack of good grammar, especially the loss of semicolons in polite society. I replied that while I admired the use of semicolons, my daughter complains that I use too many exclamation points, but in my defense I am a very passionate person. Great reply, right?
That morning he wrote me back to ascribe my addiction to too much coffee! I defended that unjust accusation. While I admitted my attempts to curb that impulse, I totally ascribe it to my enthusiasm, if not zest, for life!!!!!!
Is there a potential future for me with an arrogant, intellectual, sarcastic jew from NYC?I guess not. So sad. He wrote back to say there is no hope for us because I live in Peekskill. I replied that trains run both ways. But in fact, I am really not interested in sarcastic, arrogant men; they remind me too much of my son. But I am considering grammar rehab to curb my exclamation point addiction.
A truly really hot black dude “buzzed me”. Hey, he is adorable, but when pressed, he admitted to being only 25.😥😥 When questioned as to why he posted an obviously false age of 61. He replied so as to “be seen by older women.” I of course replied, “Why, so you could give us heart failure?”
His response to that was: “I don’t like Millennials.” Can’t say I blame him much. 😉
In lieu of dating him, I went on to assist him with his profile. Honestly, saying that he is into horror flicks, followed by the fact the he is the “strong silent type” kind of screamed SERIAL KILLER! Fortunately for the possibility of his ever having a future sex life, he actually took my advice!
Why is so much temptation placed before me now??